I’ve been married for not quite a year. Three weeks from now, we’ll be celebrating our one year (plus one day) wedding anniversary. It has been a busy, happy, expensive first year of marriage. We’ve trained and disciplined and cuddled an extremely hyper pup that we named Maximus Finn, who grew from three pounds of fluff to twenty-five pounds of energy (and a little bit of chub).We’ve painted and rearranged and updated parts of our tiny house, piece by piece; we’ve purchased an additional 82 acres of farmland, a tractor, and other pricey “farm things”; we’ve written and addressed countless thank you notes, attended holiday parties and weddings and reunions hand-in-hand.
We’ve combined our finances, purchased a mutual insurance plan, and signed legally binding, debt-inducing contracts together. We are irreversibly and (sorry for the cheese) happily married.
I am still getting used to introducing him as my husband; I am still getting used to introducing myself as Annie H. instead of Annie U. I am still training myself to not whip out the credit card and make impulse Internet buys on Etsy or Zulilly or the endless line of Facebook boutiques that always have such cute stuff like I did when I was “single”. I am adjusting to my new life. I am adjusting to being a wife. I am adjusting my answers to “How’s married life?” every time we see anyone that attended or was invited to our wedding.
At first, I answered “Great!” with an enthusiastic smile. The other person would smile back at me, less enthusiastically; if they were single, I’m sure they thought “Ohmigod sorry I asked. Stop talking.” If they were married, I’m sure they thought, “Ohmigod you have no idea what’s going to happen to you.” At first I ignored both reactions.
Over time, I realized that (most) people didn’t really care how my married life was. They wanted to hear my complaints: “It’s SOOO different! We have to share everything, ha ha.” “Oh, you know, we’re just tolerating each other, ha ha.” “Well, we haven’t killed each other yet, ha ha.”
(Side note: I automatically think less of any couple, ever, that talks that way about their spouse. Sorry not sorry.)
I think know most people my age think I’m CRAZY for being married so young. We went out one weekend, to a bar. We saw some of my old friends. One, sitting with her boyfriend, asked me how married life was.
“It’s great!” I replied (this was before I realized she really wanted to hear a complaint). “I’d recommend it to anyone, ha ha.”
She scrunched up her nose in confusion. Her boyfriend removed his arm from around her shoulders, suddenly uncomfortable.
They didn’t want to hear that, because marriage is weird. Marriage is for old people, or people that have settled. Marriage isn’t fun, for God’s sake. Obvi.
Now when people ask me how married life is, I tell them that it’s exactly like engaged life. We are totally committed to each other. We are in love. We are happy, busy, a little stressed. We are spending money, but on our house and farm instead of a wedding. I guess they call that investing. Married life is fun, because I always have someone to cook breakfast for, or watch a movie or ride bikes or shop with (even if he’d rather be at Scheel’s while I’m meandering through Barnes and Noble). Married life is scary, because we have to talk finances and family planning and life insurance together. Married life is just like “regular” life, except you always have someone on your team. Always someone to talk to, cry to, laugh with.
So, people wondering, married life is great, just great. Thanks for asking.